The most important "Interest Category" I look at on a man's dating profile is the "Music" section. The genres and bands listed help me get to know someone before meeting. I need to know: is this guy well versed? My passion for music goes beyond the average person who listens to the radio in the car and buys a dozen or so albums a year. When I hear a song I associate it with a time and place instantly. I plan what compilation to play in the car on a first date just as much as my outfit. When I start a new relationship the sentimental moments I yearn for are: going to our first concert together, planning what to play in the background the first time we have sex, and eventually defining a song as "ours". Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie, and I create playlists that become my soundtrack. Relationships have been known to have soundtracks of their own as well. The guy who gets this about me and appreciates it gets major bonus points.
My love for music sparked in fifth grade along with my first crush: Marcus Edmonds. He was the "player boy" of our fifth grade class sporting his dark curly hair, jeans that hung too low with his boxers showing, and his most attractive feature: a walk-man that blared Ace of Base, and Janet Jackson every day on the way to school. Any boy who knew all the words to "The Sign" was super hot in my book. I'm sure we all share similar stories that remind us when we realized how integrated our love for music went hand in hand with the people we ended up falling for.
Over the years this translated into calling radio stations requesting they dedicate songs to boys I was in love with. I was too shy to talk to them in person, but over the radio I could proclaim my love. I have also been guilty of wearing the tee-shirt of a band I knew my crush liked hoping he would strike up a conversation with me. As I got older it turned into making CDs full of all the songs that would "tell" a guy how I felt about him. Journals became filled with ticket stubs of all of the concerts boyfriends and I had gone to, intentionally saving each one as valuable memorabilia.
Music continues to play an integral role in how a relationship unfolds. I have fallen in love and broken up with guys based on musical taste. For example: James was incredibly sweet and romantic, made me laugh at dinner, held the door every time, listened and was genuinely interested in conversation. When I asked him what his favorite band was, he said he only listened to death metal (my least favorite genre). Listening to him scream lyrics in the shower at 6am put that potential future into perspective quickly. He had to go. Dan didn't make it past drinks because after he picked me up on our way to Old Chicago he put a cassette in his car of Miles Davis. Good musical choice, poor delivery. It was 2011...get with the times. Then there was Reed. He made a playlist of songs for me within the first week of dating that included Bright Eyes, Jimmy Eat World, The Gin Blossoms, The Swell Season, Coldplay, and many more. It had so many of my favorite songs on it; it was as though he made the compilation from my own collection. I knew he was a keeper...at least for a little while. If only he didn't turn out to be a possessive control freak we could have dated longer.
Everyone's list of deal breakers is different; mine is pretty extensive. Perhaps that's why I haven't found "the one" yet. My optimism convinces me to hold out hope for the guy who not only inspires me with his excellent conversation skills, good looks, a witty sense of humor, a love of baseball, AND most importantly, a passion for music. The guy who suggests live music on a first date, who plays almost anything but the top 40, heavy metal, and gangster rap in the car, makes me a playlist of great songs just because, introduces me to bands I haven't discovered yet, saves ticket stubs from our first concert, wants to drive hundreds of miles with me just to see our favorite band play will be my someone special. Music isn't everything...but it sure is a lot. The bottom line is: if he's going to be with me, he needs to be well versed.
