In college there was the lead singer/guitarist for an indie/punk band who I fell madly in love with, and who reappeared in my life at the strangest times; including at a TJ Maxx 2000 miles away from where we met. No matter how many nights I stayed up listening to him sing songs in his bedroom or let him play my body as passionately as he did his guitar, I never became more than the girl who inspired him to write beautiful music.
Ken the painter was amazingly talented. He brought me to his gallery openings where I stood by his side and supported him by being the pretty woman on his arm. Our trips to the beach were magical. While I slept in the ocean breeze, he would paint until 4am. My work was done if he was still sleeping at noon with paint in his hair. Despite the fact that I brought out the best in him, he did not do the same for me. He didn't read anything I wrote, and would always need something from me while I was in the middle of writing, or god-forbid working. It was a one sided relationship where I was expected to be there for him in only a moment's notice, but if I needed him, he had an endless list of excuses.
Then there was Tim the writer. Our dates consisted of going to open mic nights, sitting coffee shops "people watching" imagining how we could use them as characters in a screenplay we'd write together someday. Not only were we both writers, but the artist in us connected and made our relationship full of passion and deep respect. When he was stationed overseas in the military, we hand wrote other each letters and poems. We made playlists of music for each other to express our feelings of longing and love. Tim was the first person who inspired me to be a better writer and a better person. After being with him I could never go back to dating people who didn't feel passion for anything. Tim showed me that the most fulfilling relationships are between two muses who continue to feed off of each other creatively. One person could be a painter, and another a musician. The medium is irrelevant, nor does it matter if it is your full time job; everyone has a hobby. Tim didn't sweep me off my feet with grand romantic gestures; candle lit dinners, or overly expensive gifts. He enlivened me as an artist, a writer, and a woman; and woke up parts of my soul that few have been capable of reaching.
Here are a few suggestions for ways to connect with your partner on a creative level: go to a paint your own pottery place, listen live music, join a meetup group related to your interests, take a dance class together, drive into the mountains and take pictures of the scenery. It doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. Hopefully you will be amazed at how close it brings the two of you. As cheesy as it sounds: it is inspiring to be inspiring. Don't be afraid to be a muse for the person you love, and let them be one for you as well.
