One of my favorite things to do is go out and listen to live music. Every time I start dating someone who shares a similar taste in music I find myself asking: when do I plan ahead to see a concert in this new relationship? If we've only been dating a month or so how do I know when it's appropriate to take the risk and buy tickets for a show that's a few months down the road? Concerts have gotten expensive and I don't want to buy a ticket and have to sit next to someone I end up despising because it takes a while to determine compatibility.
Personally I resort to my relationship reference guide. You must be familiar with the two month, 6 month, 1 and two year relationship milestones. After about two months of dating you decided to be exclusive or see other people. Around 6 months you either developed strong feelings for the other person (maybe started falling in love) or moved on. If you made it to a year you started to think about living together. I'm confident in saying that if you made it past two years, you could make it through anything. After two years you should know if you want to start planning for the long haul, or if that idea freaked you out, you got out. That's enough time to figure out the holidays, how you get along with each other's families/kids, if you're compatible living together and have dealt with financial, work-related, and even spiritual issues. As embarrassing as it is to admit I have never made it past two years with anyone. I've made it to the two years mark several times but never happily ever after.
You're probably wondering what this has to do with concert tickets. There are many significant steps along the way of every relationship including leaving a toothbrush at the other person's house, planning for a weekend away, and of course buying tickets for a something in the future. The concert buying ticket milestone usually occurs for me around month two. One year I bought concert tickets to see U2 for my boyfriend for Valentine's Day. We had only been dating for six weeks at the time and the show was in May. I questioned for about five seconds if it was too soon to be planning something for May but this guy had NEVER been to a concert before. Of course I had to be the one to de-flower the concert-virgin. Somehow I knew we would still be together in May. We fell fast and hard for each other. He was one of the 2 year long term but not happily ever after guys.
When it comes to taking the plunge on anything that is future related when you start dating someone, I suggest waiting until you are exclusive, until you've gotten to a level of intimacy where you close your eyes and picture the other person in your life in the future. Of course we never know what's going to happen. Buying concert tickets with someone is just another example of a risk in dating. Should I let him meet my parents, should he have a key to my apartment, how much can we plan for the future? In the end I believe it comes down to intuition. Trust yourself because if you really listen to your gut, it will not lead you astray. If you have any doubt in your mind, wait until you don't even have to ask if it's a good idea. That way no matter what happens, you won't regret the decision you made.
